“If I waited for perfection, I would never write a word.”
- Margaret Atwood

I am a recovering perfectionist myself, and it is something I love to help kids with. I understand first hand what it is like to be paralyzed by fear of failure, or imperfection. Or to think that perfect is the only option, if that is what you’ve delivered in the past. It’s tough stuff. Perfectionism can rear its head early in life. It can even be seen in toddlers! If not addressed, it often remains throughout adulthood. Perfectionism can stop kids from trying new things, playing games (for fear of losing), making art, and more. It can also cause added stress and anxiety, or even manifest itself as anger when something doesn’t go quite as planned. I help children learn to see the beauty in imperfection, and learn what can be gained from failing. It can be difficult work, but it is so worth working to overcome.

“There will nearly always be the option to try again, and learn from failure. If you make a mistake, you are not defined by it.”
- Ally Schmidt, M.Ed. of Little Plum Education

Some ways to help kids overcome perfectionism at home:

Draw with Eyes Closed
- Practice drawing or painting with your child, but occasionally add the twist of closing your eyes! This takes away the urge to add tons of detail and obsess over imperfections. Praise efforts, laugh, and have fun!

Model Turning Imperfection into Something New
- Next time something doesn’t turn out quite right, model turning lemons into lemonade. Maybe your knitting project isn’t quite what you thought it would be. What else could it turn into, or how could you change the use? Talk to your kids about what you learned from this trial, and how you’d change how you try again next time.

Be Beginners Together
- Sometimes kids think their parents or a professional-anything just woke up a pianist, or a soccer star, and don’t realize it takes practice to master most hobbies, professions, and crafts. Try something new with your child that you are also a beginner at. When they see that even adults can be beginners, they will start to reframe their thoughts and adopt a growth mindset with you.

Praise Effort and Growth Mindset
- Praising effort and giving something a try, instead of being result-oriented, is a small powerful shift. When kids give something a try for the first time, they are putting themselves out there for critique, and possible failure. It can feel really scary! Praising the risk to try something, no matter how small, can help them feel more confidence to keep practicing, or try other things.

Read Stories About Overcoming Perfectionism
- I often post book recommendations on my Instagram (@littleplum.education) that fit this category, and I'd be happy to recommend an age-appropriate story for your child to have at home, if perfectionism is something they are working on! One multi-age favorite is "Beautiful Oops" by Barney Saltzberg. It's a kid-friendly art book, and the central idea is embracing imperfection.

If your child is struggling with perfectionism, and it's something they may need SEL coaching for, email ally@littleplumeducation.com to set up a free initial meeting.

I hope everyone is having a good start to 2020. Happy New Year to you and your family!

In gratitude,
Ally Schmidt, M.Ed